Recently my guy and I attended the Surprise 40th Birthday party for a mutual friend. She was happy, shocked and thankful. I am all for surprise parties on the condition they are not rubbing a milestone birthday in your face.
I was lucky enough to have a surprise party thrown for me at the beach when I was 17 (one of the perks of being a summer baby) and another in the big city at 22 and I loved both. However, had my dear friends surprised me with a party at 30 I would have been less than thrilled!
On the way home my guy says to me "when you turn 40 I am going to through you an awesome party we will invite all our friends and family, we can have a big party in the backyard, bbq fire and we can get our friends band to play it will be the best party ever!!"
Now he was so proud of himself for coming up with this "terrific idea".
That is when I turned and hissed at him not to bother not only do I tell him not to bother I also warned him if he did that would be the end of our relationship and sternly state...."I AM NOT JOKING IF YOU DO IT IS OVER.... O-V-E-R.... OVER!! do you understand!!!! "
And what does he do....he breaks out into hearty laughter at the "ridiculous" comment I had just made and tells me that I am "so cute"
CUTE!!!!!!!!!.......So not the answer I was looking for!!! I wanted no needed him to say it is ok I will not do that to you but instead I get a "you are so cute" and a "just you wait and see it is going to be an awesome party"........ that is when I broke out in tears!
I know you all may think that is a bit of an over reaction! I would have agreed with you if it were someone else turning 40.
Looking back I have realized that I have always lied about being younger.
I never really looked forward to getting older.
I think this started very early in life thanks to my dear childhood friend.
We would constantly have the same conversation and it would go something like this......
Childhood Friend... "no matter how old I get you will always be older than me"
Me..."I am only a year older than you"
Childhood Friend..."no you are 16 months and 14 days older than me"
Me..."well those extra four months and 14 days don't really count, I am only a year older than you"
Childhood Friend...."so really you are almost 2 years older than me"
Me..."I AM NOT"
Then we would argue back and forth over those extra 4 months and 14 days until the point one of us would walk away and we would not speak for the rest of the day!!
To me there is nothing great about turning 40, it only depresses me into thinking of how fast my life has gone up until this point. My grandmother died in her 40's my dear aunt became very sick in her 40's so I guess to me everything about 40 is depressing! As women we get to look forward to menopause, arthritis, mammograms, weight gain, cataracts and hot flashes just off the top of my head!!
I am told that I do not look like I am in my "mid to late 30's". I however see things differently. I see all the wrinkles, the age spots the grey hair. I wish there was a way we could see ourselves through the eyes of others!!
When I was younger I was the type of girl who always planned on growing old gracefully. You know let my hair turn completely grey and not worry about it, not waste my money on beauty products or cosmetic procedures. But my plan has changed I really open to some good old botulism so bring on the "Botox" and let's "Keep them guessing with Oil of Olay" and of coure top it off with some "Nice N Easy"!!
So a few days after my melt down I tell my guy if you want to do something "special" for my birthday he should get me botox or microdermabrasion.
He says that is the silliest thing and that I do not need it. I argue the fact that I do and he is just to "cheap" to spend the money and he argues he is not too cheap, and if he was would he want spend a bunch of money on a surprise party. I come up with a brilliant plan and tell him he can through a big party if he also gives the gift of botulism that way we both win he can have his "party" and while he is throwing his party I will be off at some spa getting my botox and feeling sorry for myself . So it truly will be a surprise party because I won't be there so..."SURPRISE" (of course I leave that part out of my bargaining)
So this is what I have decided. I will stay 38 forever (only because 39 is so cliche and really who believes someone who says they are 39 anyway?)
To all you lovely ladies who rang in the big 4-0 with open arms you truly are my heroes!!
I wish I was brave enough to embrace the moment but as you can see I will be celebrating it by having my own pity party as if I am the only woman in the world who has ever had to wake up and face the fact that she is now 40!!
So not that I have rambled on about the latest epidemic surrounding my life, I would sure love some insight and words of wisdom on getting older and surviving life after 40!
I hope you have a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!!
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